April fools jokes for my gf when shes sick
Make sure you pick through the rubble, find their horribly burned body and tell them "April Fools! Subscribe to our top stories Subscribe.
Well with this clever gag will have you both laughing for years to come! Remember that the instructions have to tell them to look for the colour red. Probably not your average joke; pour a generous line of petroleum around their bed while they're sleeping ad then stand well back and light it, if the noise doesn't wake them, then set their alarm to go off shortly. Toolbox What links here Related changes Special pages Printable version Permanent link.
Thus April fools was born, and resultantly, this article - which attempts to document the top and more worst April Fools Jokes, most of which you can get arrested for. While your victim is sleeping, remove their hands and pawn them at a local second-hand hand store. Clearly any animal of identical species will do; bring the animal to their door, and inform them that the Zoo has gone into liquidation, and thus, the animal is now their legal property. This needs to be done just as April 1 strikes around 2am - gather some friends and dress in swat gear; one team gas grenades both floors, the other team breaks down the front door and fires rounds into the air, then quickly raids the upstairs and arrests everyone.
A particularly effective gag is to kill their pet, behead it, and then place the head in their mug. Put the cap back on and invite yourself to sleep over their house. Useful to make them edit and contribute volumes of information about articles that they would never think of even reading.
Fill it with cream cheese or just plain cheese and mold it in the empty deodorant space. Pay a visit to your victim's place of work, and simply murder a colleague of theirs preferably their boss as brutally as possible; then simply remove a limb bringing a hacksaw or chainsaw would be sick and put it in your friend's fridge - next, simply call the police and explain how you just went to your friend's place of work, and discovered a dead person with a missing limb, and that your friend asked you not to come round his house.
A time-tested joke; simply locate the brake cable and cut it. A classic joke is to phone the victim and inform them that their wife has been diagnosed with an airborne strain of HIV, and that they should probably also be tested too.
Short Funniest April Fools’ Day Pranks Text Messages for Girlfriend
Go to your neighbour's garden and steal their cat. After war has been waged for years and thousands are dead, go on national TV from Abu Ghraib and declare "It was Iran that was trying to build the WMDs.
The rest of this prank should handle itself. Any manic-depressives in the house? While they are out, get a knife You can usually get one from the bar you are drinking at, don't worry about cleaning it and cut out their kidneys and sell them on the black market. I suggest that you hire a moving truck and a mover or two however.Kids Busted Window April Fools PRANK (Gone Wrong)
Find a friend who is a smoker, sneak into their house at night and loosen their gas pipes. Simply take a spray can of mace, and apply it to the outer layer of some toilet paper, allow it to dry and place it back for the next unsuspecting victim. Alternatively, you can do this the other way round at the same time, as long as the look-alike car isn't yours.
Now make everything wet! Similar to the bucket of water gag, but with a superior twist; simply take a glass coated bucket, fill with sulphuric acid liquid nitrogen is also amusing and carefully balance atop an ajar door note - LN is more conspicuous. Announce to your family or friends that you are gay and have been in a sick relationship with another person of the same gender.
Then break all the windows they're selling at the store so they have to pay for them. Create an effectively done website in the style of Google News, and create a news article that depicts a when shes sick of the victim's has gone on a killing spree and been shot down.
For more effect, state that all relatives of the person mentioned are to be brought into custody for questioning at Gitmo. Guaranteed to bring laughs for years to come.
A gag for the elderly of the family; simply take a standard office chair, remove the wheels from it, and attach to the front and back of the elderly individual's zimmer frame. At this point, you have a choice, however, you should eventually proceed to place them in a ditch, preferably with no underwear on, later you can inform them it was merely an April Fools joke. Repeat on new toilet. Since you abducted them before For maximum effect, return the children just before midnight.
Go to your local unscrupulous chemist, and acquire some Rohypnol, then simply drug your victim's drink of choice with it, and wait for it to take effect.
Then, offer to get them a condom. Now wait until someone goes to the sick. Abduct somebody, place them in a chair don't forget to earth them and wire them into a light socket. Next time someone goes to use the toilet hopefully with a horrible case of the shits there won't be any room for the stuff to go!
Following on from the Cannabis Incense, a sick follow-on gag is to replace the Communion bread with LSD tabs - although church-goers need to have been sufficiently stoned for this to work. Tell your victim you want to scare someone, and that you'll pay them to pretend to die when you do a roundhouse kick to them, however, when you do the kick, you need to stab your foot into their throat, this should snap their neck and means you will genuinely kill them, and they weren't expecting that; April Fools!
Simply wait for your friend to fall asleep, and create a large pile of shaving foam in their dominant hand; now, slide razor blades preferably at a 90 degree angle into the shaving foam. Attempt to convince everyone that your victim is claiming that he is infact the reincarnation of the messiah; taking past experience into account, your victim will likely be a receiver of a side-splittingly funny crucifixion, or at least a vicious beating.
Get loose and go retro, I say! Though you're guaranteed to be released if you do them before 12 noon, as even the police appreciate a good prank. Be sure to have plenty of cameras at the ready as the look on Cindy For 's face be priceless. Please take a look at the talk page of this article for notes or discussion before editing. Perhaps one of the most disturbed April Fools jokes of all time; you simply take the nozzle of a vacuum cleaner, hold it when their eyesocket and turn on the cleaner.
Throw rocks and bricks if you can carry them into the windows of your friend's house. Navigation Main page Featured content Current events Recent changes Random feature Random article Projects About.
If anyone notices anything out of the ordinary, play really dumb and pretend not to know who or what has been eating all the porridge, breaking all the chairs and getting rid of unwanted bratty siblings.
It's up to you how far you want to go with this prank. Disconnect the flush mechanism and empty the bowl use a bucket or several disposable cups to remove the water Fill it with boiling water and add clear jello mix.
If you happen to april fools jokes that your friend keeps a diary, then take a peek at it, although if you can't, no matter; simply concoct any number of deranged theories, lies and disturbed comments, and them publish them in the form of a blog. This is especially effective if April 1st is the day your friend has to give in an important document to his boss.
You gather all their work documents and throw them in the shredder. Poke holes in their condoms. If you get invited to a tea party at the White House bring your own sugar cubes laced with LSD.
Alternately, if you are gay, tell them that you are sick. Poop and poop and poop, and use lots of toilet paper. This should remain relatively stable. While in friend's house snatch their deodorant roll-on and remove what's left of it. Just go up to a acquaintance or family member and simply begin to kill them. Wait until they want to use the car and the laughing can begin!!!
Greater effect can be achieved if you arrange to deliberately fall over when getting out of the coffin, and appear to crack your head open - squibs in your mouth for the "vomiting blood" effect is also recommended. Found a Pinto still on the road? First, find the sleaziest porn you can hint: Write their name and address on the labels, then attach them to the april fools hint: Next, distribute it at schools, doctors' offices, etc.
Well, then you have hilarity! Putting Borax in their coffee has a
when shes sick effect on the look of the drink, and is even more amusing when the victim starts foaming at the mouth. No actual medical practice is required to remove someones kidneys. From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia. Then have your spouse act as if to say "you tell them". For the engineers out there, see if you can attach the now cut cable running from the brake pedal to the accelerator, allowing you to observe exactly when they have floored the relevant pedal.
When attending your local church, be sure to replace the incense with as high a quantity of cannabis as you can manage. Exhume the body of a deceased relative, and fit it to the light fixture; this can be especially hard if the body is particularly rotten, so nailgunning parts of the body together can be a wise solution. However, when they flush, a large explosion will of course ensue.
Simply april fools jokes someone perhaps yourself whom you know has an infectious desease sexually transmitted ones are a must and take a swab sample from the affected area, now, simply take the swab and wait for your friend to fall asleep - slowly slide the swab into their anus, give it a degree twist and slowly remove again, after Arrange to meet your friend in town or public place, preferably a restaurant.
Using a mirror, reverse the chemicals in hair tonic. Declare that Saddam has WMD's and send your army to invade Iraq. LSD does not dissolve sugar, so the Secret Service may not find out about it until the president is tripped out on acid. Further to that hack their computer's DNS table to direct to a customised news site that states that the Y2K bug has caused the US missile defence system to fire a bioagent at the homeland; detailing the particularly evil virus contained within.
Find a toilet, preferably not your own. Purposely wait for your friend, if a computer nut, to leave the house or go to the bathroom, from which you open the cd drive and remove that elastic that enables the drive to open in the first place. They'll think they have a talking toilet. Simply get the number of the highest level of official in the white house, and impersonate Bill Gates, usually, if you pull this off correctly with a variety of well-worded facsimilies, you can effectively convince the administration that you are indeed going to solve their problems single-handedly, naturally, the humour is in telling them that you're actually not going to.
There is debate as to whether or not this falls under the worst, or best joke, as the results can be quite funny. Take a walkie talkie and tape it in a helmet. Dig a little hole in the garden and put the helmet in the hole. When added, it will burn uncontrollably! This is when more effective if the person is fitted so that they are dying when the victim comes down. Watch them sober up REAL quick. Swap the lithium mood stabilisers with Lithium-Ion battery cells and watch everyone go wild.
Pretty self explanatory, this one puts a downer on any genuinely good night in with the 'lads'. Guaranteed that people will call it their best church sermon ever! Tell him he has 24 hours to pack everything before they kick him out.
Then slip the newly-created hair loss tonic in your friend's coffee or other kind of drink. They now have the tedious task of retrieving their eye from the bag of the vacuum.
Simply grind down potassium, avoiding any sparks or sources of water and mix into their As you are killing them, on their last breath whisper "April Fools! Have a friend who's wheelchair-bound? Go to a friend's house. Wait til they're on the abortion table, when text message them!
Change the year on your friend's computer so that it says instead of Rewire the monitor cable to feed the same signal into all three of the RGB colour inputs They'll think that they've fallen for an retroactive Y2K Bug. Do you know somebody with a life threatening condition? That will do the trick. Widely regarded as a generally bad joke, since the victim usually dies before you can safely point out that you poisoned their breakfast. Finish before pulling out for more effects of humour and possibly fatherhood.
After this whether or not they respond take out a gun, and fire two rounds into their kneecaps, if you don't have a gun, a machete sick in the same area will suffice. Don't tell them it was just a prank until they have already tried to sell the toilet for money. Otherwise, it may be simpler to merely spike the communion wine instead.
Hilarity and a huge mess ensues. Later, format the computers and return them. If they are not famous, just give them a page using their account as aboveand laugh all around when it's put on AFD and your mark is banned.
Completely joke for his toilet. Ensure that the room is sufficiently darkened, and for added effect, put a lightbulb in the person's mouth. Community Help Community portal Village Dump Pee Review Votes for Highlight Votes for deletion Votes for Pictures UnSignpost. Naturally, you can make this OK by buying them a new pet; "see, it's OK, I got you a new one". Using a mirror, reverse the chemicals in laxatives. You print up a fake eviction notice from the city and give it to your friend. Imagine his amusement when he comes-to, aged 20, lying face-down on a motel bed in Tunisia with a pounding headache and a lewd tattoo of Thatcher on his left buttock.
Naturally, you should only return them once he has cancelled them all. Watch as they hilariously try to tear their own
sick open to get out the creature that is devouring their brain. Hilarity ensues sick they lean into the frame.
Leave a suicide note where someone will find it and then leave your house for the day. Throughout history, April 1 was widely regarded as marking the beginning of the year, until a certain king spontaneously decided it would in fact be January.
Celine Dion, 49, pulls off a top-to-toe leather outfit as she
jokes for on an animated display while leaving hotel in Germany 'He gave me opportunities I never thought I would have': Charlie Gard Charlie Gard's parents will find out tomorrow if they can take him home to die on Monday Barrister Grant Armstrong, who leads the couple's legal team, said Connie and Chris want time together as a family in privacy until July 31 - when life support would be withdrawn.
Get the victim really really drunk, so much that they pass out. Be sure not to let anyone know you're alive until after the police have been called. Make sure you pick through the rubble, find their horribly burned body and tell them "April Fools!
Repeat number 46 but on several friends by mixing up their hands. Watch as they run for the car and attempt to escape the city, or kill themselves in their own living room. They get in and try to launch Tape a walkie talkie to the base of your friend's toilet. Wait until one of your friends is drunk and about to get laid. Then leave the bathroom and tell your friend that someone clogged it and ask if he has you may use. This is especially useful if you are a female and known to be quite, ahem, productive.
When your friend is out driving, simply tail him, and have a friend start firing shots at his car as he aprils fools down the motorway. Fake your death, and then at the funeral, jump out of the coffin. Then, when shes sick out, you will invariably need money, and your victim will thus discover all his cards have been stolen.
This prank could result in the president believing that when shes are WMDs in places there are not. When the jello becomes thick, pour a cup or 2 of water on top to make it look like the bowl is filled with water and not jello. Thus April fools was born, and resultantly, this article - which attempts to document the top and more worst April Fools Jokes, most of which you can get arrested for.
While out in public, kindly offer to buy your friend a drink, after you have purchased the drink an order to-go would be recommended simply slip a few sildenafil citrate Viagra pills into their drink, and observe with much hilarity as they attempt to april fools jokes their erection note, again, if you are reading this, it is unlikely that you would suffer from this gag; the erection would need to be visible.
The April Fool prank that backfired: Woman pretends to dump her boyfriend as a joke on WhatsApp and he AGREED
Observe the shock and agony on their faces as they regain consciousness. Retrieved from " http: Views Article Discussion View source History. This involves taking the victim's car and replacing it with an identical one. Makes sure they have the same blood type or, entirely different blood types if you're so inclined.
It is also even funnier if the children are drunk. The replacement car is then smashed up. Everyone will think there's someone in the helmet! Just put up what ever you fell like and nobody should notice for for months. Hillarity ensues when they try to have a smoke and their house explodes.
Just like everything else on wikipedia, none of the info you put on the site has to be factual! When your friend is in deep sleep, get a chainsaw, cut both hands off, swap them and sew them back on before all the blood drains out - laying down newspaper beforehand is probably a good idea.
You and a friend can visit the victim's address, posing as FBI agents. Lots of fun, especially if you manage to get your mark to go streakingor hooked on cocaine, or watch Brady Bunch reruns, or what ever weird 70's fads there are. They'll stop once their batteries finally run down. Find someone they've had sex with in the past 9 months note, if you are reading this, it is unlikely someone will play this joke on you and get them to phone the other party and inform them that they are pregnant with twins, and that they are the only possible father.
Have sexual aprils fools jokes with their mom, no matter how disgusting, and purposely invite them into the room while in the middle of a very reveiling position. Make when shes sick the PC is unplugged to prevent Electricution. This naturally pissed a lot of people off, and many continued pretending that it was April.
You can also use any sort of white substance. Construct a fake list of the worst April fools jokes, and then find someone stupid enough to read them all the way down to number 1. For extra laughs, put a second helping onto the rim of their margarita! Then apologize to him and offer to buy them new windows. Guaranteed instant laughter and lawsuit. Most will run to the nearest window and jump,
april fools, but you may want to give them a little push otherwise.
In the morning hopefully they put deodorant on when they change you can laugh your ass off. This works best if they are somewhat famous. Now say something in the other walkie talkie. Get a relative very close to them perhaps yourselfand harness that person to a light fixture with a belt and leave them when there overnight. Remember, the more kids you have already, the more believeable the joke.
Sledge hammer has more devastating and more funny effects. Sure, everyone loves salt on their fries.
April Fool Sms / Text Messages / Jokes
Usually they find it covered in hair and dust, making it useless. If you find yourself in posession of a tranquiliser gun, then simply take aim for fire at your chosen victim, then enjoy yourself as they briefly stagger around before passing out, then take a sharp knife, and cut off their penis.
While the victim is sleeping, take a flesh-eating insect scarab beetle is an obvious choice and insert it into their ear. Replace the testing strip inside their pregnancy test unit with litmus paper. Take a piece of plastic wrap and place it under the toilet seat add a few blobs of caesium to the sheet where it doesn't look particularly noticeable.
Replace your bratty siblings' teddy bears, paddington bears and pooh bears with real live grizzly bears. Convince the next of kin that the result is their fault for not electing Ralph Nader for President.
Alternatively, you can sick drill loads of holes in the walls, and insert a Cadbury's finger in each. If you have a friend who smokes, then a favoured trick is to take a cigarette and very carefully inject the fluid from a cyanide pill down the shaft of "for" cigarette using a joke for is advised.
But what if their fries begin to burn and explode? Make sure it can't escape. You can send 2 free phone calls per day, and it appears to be worldwide but I am not sure.
To make this work, knock your mark unconscious and bring him or her to a 70's throwback disco. Attempting to shoot out his tyres as he turns can be sick effective since the car will often flip, totalling their vehicle, seriously injuring them, and also allowing you to end the chase and tell them it was all an innocent prank. Firstly, scope out somebody you think is when shes your means to abduct, then do so, and hide them in the trunk of your victim's car. An open medicine bottle or a coiled joke for add an extra touch.
Remove the brake lights; replace them with blasting caps to detonate the vehicle the moment the victim hits the pedal. Go to the toilet. Tell your friend that you're moving 50 miles away from town. Laughs all around when the MPs show up at your mark's door and he gets hauled off to the stockade for going AWOL. Participate Things to do Requested articles Requested images Report a problem What's happening Foreign Office.
You can then claim that you have logs from their ISP that they have been downloading child pornography, and that you have a warrant for their computers. Contents [ show ]. For added april fools jokes, tell them that the public must be notified, but they are entitled to free counseling. If no elastic, just put a hammer of some kind in the monitor and tower. A time tested joke - you simply empty the victim's wallet of all cards and cash. From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.
For a truly effective gag, simply abduct the victim's children before they enter the school doors. How far you take this is your choice - some have even recommended live ammunition. A hilarous April 1 gag is to gather some friends with spare bandwidth, and simply DDoS ED for as long as humanly possible, in fact, doing so past Works brillianty if done beside their bed, or at the exit to a doorway; you need to dig out a pit in the floor create a base for it and then fill it with sharpened punji sticks.
You can even put a wash cloth down there - hell a small child is even better. Better to fool them when they least expect it. One of the funniest yet tragic April Fools day jokes is to let rabid, starving dogs into their room or the room of a small child, you decide you sick weirdo. Make sure you arrive before them, and when they see you, pretend not to recognise them for walk away, they will of course follow you, have them follow you into an alley, and then give them a final warning.
Leave them naked in a tub of ice with a note on their chest saying "I have taken your kidneys. When your are stopped by the police, the abductee will probably be aware of this and make themselves known, instant hilarity. If you are caught, just tell the cops that you were paid to do it. Dilute your younger brother's orange squash with vodka, claiming it's a new brand. Whether the prank is funny or not, it really shouldn't matter that you're a day late to the party.
Let it cool overnight make sure no one uses it until it does. Be sure to only tell them it was all a joke when they have for packed everything up. Then watch as they run around, slowly dissolving.
Now go to their car and put the cat in the motor. Go to a library with a couple of friends and take a lot of buckets filled with water with you.
A great followon from the Bottle trick; simply grab the bottle of tobasco, and pour it down their pants, guaranteed to bring them back to consciousness immediately! Afterwards, apologize and offer to buy them a wig get them a cheap wig. Fill it with Icy-Hot and give it to them. Does your friend have a CD drive with the disc slot?
Make sure it will be several hours before they have to have a light.